I
had to laugh when my mother came up north from Florida for
a visit, wearing a red hat, a purple shirt and purple pants.
"What on earth has gotten into you?" I asked. My
mother is the poster-child of baby-boomer housewives everywhere.
She's frumpy, kind of ditzy, but the best mother in the whole
world. She's one of those people you don't really notice,
so when she came home wearing this crazy outfit, I was rather
shocked. She explained that she had joined her retirement
park's Red Hat Society. I asked her if this was some sort
of Florida cult and if she'd have to drink poisonous Kool-Aid.
She said no, and proceeded to explain what it means to be
a part of this wonderful "society of friends."
Since
I was still skeptical, I decided to learn more about it and
picked up a copy of the book, The Red Hat Society: Fun and
Friendship After Fifty, by founding "Queen Mother"
Sue Ellen Cooper. I have never been so touched in my entire
life! This book brought out my inner-child, and reminded me
that fun and friendship is really what life is all about.
The
poem, "Warning," by Jenny Joseph, opens the prologue.
Fittingly, this poem is what the Red Hat Society uses as their
theme. The poem begins, "When I am an old woman, I shall
wear purple, with a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't
suit me..." The rest of the poem alludes to living in
the now - why wait to do this until you're old?
In
the following chapters, the book discusses the founder, the
organization's "disorganizational" history; and
includes testimonials from existing Red Hatters. If this was
everything the book contained, I wouldn't be as smitten. However,
scattered throughout the pages are hilarious and inspirational
quotations, such as "Time may be a great healer, but
it is a lousy beautician" (Anonymous); or "I don't
skinny-dip...I chunky dunk" (Ruby Redhat - their mascot
of sorts). For a little fun the author has also included "Permission
Slips" that the reader can cut out and use, such as "Permission
to eat pizza for breakfast," or "Permission to just
be yourself, without apology." Ruby Redhat even offers
the "Top Ten Rules for Living, Plus One." They range
from "Accept reality and live in the here and now,"
to "Make up for the sobriety of your youth." These
"rules" may be logical, but who doesn't need a refresher
course?
The real heart of this book is the "why" factor.
Why do women feel the need to form groups of friends? Why
do women feel so stifled that they can't wear a red hat and
purple dress, just because they want to? I found many of the
stories as to why people joined this society just beautiful.
Some women were recently widowed or divorced; some have been
diagnosed with cancer; some had finally gotten the kids out
of the house and just wanted to make friends. Much to my surprise,
even though I don't meet the age-requirement, I can still
join a group! People younger than 50 are allowed to be members,
as long as they wear pink hats and lavender clothes. This
is actually encouraged, as the "red hatters" can
mentor the "pink hatters" into wonderful, spunky
women. The point is - all women have experiences and emotions
that are unique to the gender. Sometimes you just need some
girlfriends to talk to.
